What Dumbledore Knows
by frk-werewolf
Summary: Dumbledore observes the school during a meal. (rated PG-13 for slash. warning: contains mroe pairings than you know what to do with. note: this is meant as funny, don't be offended)


Title: What Dumbledore Knows  
  
Author: frkwerewolf  
  
Fandom: Harry Potter  
  
Rating: PG or light PG-13  
  
Pairings: Implied: Harry/Ron, Seamus/Dean, Neville/Trevor, Draco/boy!Blaise, Crabbe/Hermione, Hooch/McGonogall, Lupin/Black  
  
Summary: Dumbedore watches his students and teachers one fine evening during dinner.  
  
It was another fine day in the wizarding world. Sure, Voldemort was off doing something terrible at that moment, but Dumbledore saw past all that. The students were laughing and his fellow adults were not arguing for once. Dumbledore saw this all as a very good sign. Taking the last bite of his pie, he leaned back in his chair and looked around the Great Hall.  
  
The Golden Trio was happily chatting amongst themselves at the Gryffindor table. Dumbledore smiled secretively as he recalled last night when Harry and Ron snuck out to go snog under the Quidditch Stands. Ah, the joys of youth. Why, Dumbledore could remember his first gay experience. It was around 75 years ago and Dumbledore was having the most unusual of days. Then came along the most handsome man he had ever seen, Davidius Snape. Alas, that was a deliteful evening.  
  
Blinking away his NC-17 memories, Dumbledore returned to his observation of the Gryffindors. Hermione was, as usual, reading a book. Dumbledore often wondered what kind of literature she actually read, considering most of the romance novels in the library had been checked out by the bookworm at least twice. Neville was sitting next to her, slipping a piece of bread under the table.  
  
'Now what could he be up to?' Dumbledore mused, suspecting the boy was feeding his beloved Trevor. Dumbledore often wondered if Trevor was less a toad and more of a human, with the way it's owner carried on with him.  
  
Seamus and Dean were past the Golden Trio. Dumbledore chuckled to himself as he watched Dean fill Seamus' plate with an almost motherly fashion. Those two, Dumbledore suspected, were the most adorable couple of the school. Seamus turned and frowned at his companion and Dumbledore can almost imagine the filth coming out of the Irish boy's mouth as he argued with his friend. Dean calmly waved his hand to discard whatever Seamus had said and sent the sandy-haired boy a wink.  
  
Dumbledore calmly let his eyes drift past the Gryffindors and on to the Hufflepuffs. The entire group was behaiving, as usual, pleasantly. Though it apeared that Susan Bones was staring dreamily in Neville's direction. Dumbledore snickered at the sight. 'Poor girl, having to compete with a toad.'  
  
The Ravenclaws were all studying or appearing to study. Dumbledore had a good notion this was just a facade. He knew darn well the book Cho Chang was holding had a Teen Witch magazine tucked inside it.  
  
The Slytherins, now there was a group Dumbledore could appreciate. They seemed to not care about the opinions of the rest of the school. No, they held their stupidities on their shoulders with pride.   
  
For example, Pansy Parkinson was currently attempting to once again gain the attention of Draco. She was failing miserably. Draco, it seemed, was too busy looking at himself in his pocket mirror. The pale blonde descretely pulled out a tube of lip gloss and applied it, thinking no one saw. Then, as cold faced as ever, Draco slipped the mirror and lip gloss back into his pocket and smirked at Blaise Zabini.  
  
Blaise Zabini replied with a limp wrist and, what Dumbledore was certain, a lisp. The dark haired boy slipped said hand under the table. If Dumbledore wasn't mistaken, that was a blush appearing across Draco's cheeks.  
  
Dumbledore quickly looked away from the duo, pretending not to see a thing. It wouldn't do to have to dicipline the two. Dumbledore scanned the table once more, spotting Crabbe staring passionately at Hermione across the room. Hermione seemed not to notice, and Goyle hit Crabbe aside his head to get his attention. 'Poor boy.' Was all Dumbledore thought, before turning to his own teachers.  
  
Flitwick was seated atop a mountain of books, all containing information on the Dark Lord. Aparrently this was Flitwick's way of telling Voldemort to stuff it, by sitting on his name. Dumbledore thought the idea genius and was in the process of ordering staff seating with Voldemort's name engraved on the seat.   
  
Madame Hooch was, once again to Dumbledore's dismay, attempting to flirt with McGonogall. The saucey flying teacher was, without a doubt, the most dyke of a person Dumbledore had ever met. And when the hawk-eyed woman set her sights on the ever strict McGonogall? Well, Dumbledore could do nothing but take bets on how long it would take for McGonogall to turn the woman into a newt.  
  
McGonogall was avoiding Hooch's eyes. Her face was stern, mouth pursed, and eyes concentrating on her Gryffindor table. Dumbledore wondered if she knew about Neville's odd relationship with his toad. Hmm, he would have to ask later.  
  
Dumbledore could see Hagrid downing his fifth glass of wine and knew, without a doubt, the man would be passed out by ten o'clock. Next to Hargid was a very uptight Severus Snape. Dumbledore shot him a tinkled eye, but the younger wizard just grumbled and looked away. Next to Snape was the returning DADA professor, and Dumbledore was quite certain that was what put the boy in such a bad mood.  
  
Remus Lupin, back for another term, was attempting to bring the Potions Master into conversation. Snape consistantly looked away after hissing for the poor lycanthrope to shut up. Lupin was not deterred, and if Dumbledore wasn't certain on Lupin's and Sirius Black's relationship, he would have thought Lupin and Snape were lovers. Apparently they were just bickering friends. Because, of course, in Dumbledore's world everyone got along.  
  
Dumbledore sighed happily as Snape once again snapped for Lupin to shut up. Alas, his school was such a pleasant place to reside. 


End file.
